“Unloved and lonely”: what’s wrong with men who dream of reducing fashion

Facancy found an interesting trend: “fun” works have their own audience. It turns out that penguin fins, sheik lackeys and experienced dream of not being slackers bored in front of monitors in the office. Such places are interesting for “high white-collar workers in big cities”: men over 35 years old who earn more than 350 thousand rubles and work in banking, finance, telecommunications and the public sector.

But top executives who have viewed the coveted downgrade vacancy several times a week sigh and close their browser. Penguins remain an elusive dream, and Facancy sets out to find out why. Service staff interviewed 638 people who explained why they don’t go into the wilderness to become “village owners”.

Researchers assumed that it was about finances: it is one thing to receive half a million a month, another – 60 thousand rubles. However, it turned out that “small rewards” do not frighten people – according to them, top managers have savings that allow them to painlessly turn penguins from one to three years. Every second respondent (52%) admitted that they do not dare to subordinate because they are afraid of an aggressive reaction from the family.

“He is… in love, or rather in his absence. It turned out that the same men are afraid to even hint at such a career transition to their families: “they won’t understand me”, “there will be a divorce”, “they will deprive me of my children”. It turned out that these high-ranking urban men are unloved, unsupported and lonely,” writes Alena Vladimirskaya on her social media page. Subscribers support her in the comments: “What a horror, you can also agree with a loving woman”, “As an experienced inferior, I will say that this is a serious barrier – the attitude of the family to the lifestyle.”

After research and comments, the picture in my head is depressing. Before us is an exhausted, burnt-out top manager – a living hero of the demotivator “There are no impossible tasks, at 30 there are heart attacks.” He was tired of chronic stress, irregular working hours and constant decision making. This person wants to flip the penguins or tend the lighthouse, but the evil, greedy wife, like the Raja of the Golden Antelope, screams, “More money! Give more!”

But here’s the problem: no one talked to these women. Maybe if the researchers had talked to them, we would have seen a completely different still life.

In a survey by Otkritie Bank, 50% of men said that women should not work. Some have successfully implemented this idea: in March 2021, a resident of Tomsk, Dmitry, told T-Zh that he convinced his wife to stop because he did not like that his wife, a dispatcher in the computer service, was coming home in a bad state. mood due to dissatisfied customers. After that, the couple began to live on her husband’s salary – 35 thousand rubles. The woman’s pregnancy did not shake Dmitry’s confidence that this amount was sufficient for the existence of the family.

How many men who convinced their wives to leave their jobs among those who earn 350 thousand can only be guessed. But if so, then one can imagine the girls’ horror at the thought of their husbands going to turn penguins or revive villages. And if a pine tree falls on her husband? Or will he get drunk along with the rest of the “revived”? Or if he has played enough and rested from his top position, he will not find the same place? How will she, who believed in the “You take care of the family, I feed us all” deal, be able to provide for the children with her diploma, which was out of date 10 years ago?

Yes, there are savings, and they will support the family for some time. But after all, rarely does this money lie “just like that”. They usually have plans, such as paying for their children’s education or medical bills in the event of a serious illness. Or buy apartments for sons and daughters. And then suddenly it turns out that the emergency supply will go to food, while the young lady will live in the Amazon jungle among “large insects, curious monkeys and strange sounds”.

Even a woman who did not limit herself to the role of a housewife will not be happy. Family is not a toy that you can throw away when you get tired of it. Children are a lifelong commitment. A marriage bond assumes that both people have common goals and work to achieve them. When one of them suddenly decides to become a butler in the UK, divorce is really inevitable, because the woman understands: it seems that the partnership is over, and the man just wants to live happily and for his own pleasure. What is the point of maintaining such a relationship?

In the comments on Alena Vladimirskaya’s post, users complain that “there is not enough unconditional love in society.” But relationships are not only feelings, but also responsibility. And judging by the way men look at downshifting, we women do it better. At 35, we continue to think about mortgages, raising children and elderly parents. We even try to stay beautiful so that the husband does not complain that his wife “got it”, although, you know, we also want love that does not depend on weight, wrinkles and stretch marks.

And everyone takes our efforts for granted. No one will support a woman who announces that she is going to a polar station to raise penguins for six months and have her husband hire a nurse for the baby and a nanny for the older children for the hideout. Even someone who refuses to go to the gym for six months in order to take a few hours of rest a week is subject to condemnation. What kind of woman doesn’t want to please her man with her looks? No one will write hundreds of comments in defense of such a girl about men who are not capable of “unconditional love”.

Burnout is a terrible and unpleasant thing. But men should understand: it is not women who are to blame for the fact that the problem cannot be solved by going to the South Pole. It’s not your bad wife that prevents you from throwing things in your backpack, it’s your own decision to start a family and long-term commitments. And you have to deal with the fatigue so that your dependents don’t suffer or complain that marriage isn’t compatible with flipping penguins.