Hello from the past: with which ex-friends you should not communicate with fashion

Every person has moments of weakness or nostalgia for the past years when you want to see those who knew you before. But sometimes a date with youth is not as beautiful and safe as it seems. Who should you avoid, no matter how sad you are about the past?

At a party with former classmates, a person who poisoned your life ten, twenty or even thirty years ago rushes up to you. Maybe he still appears in your nightmares, or you have simply erased him from your life and preferred to forget about him completely. It’s not that he doesn’t remember anything, but somehow he lost the details and only remembers vivid emotions, playful pranks and running around. And if you remember past grievances, you can face shameless gaslighting – the aggressor will try to convince you that either there was no bullying or that you “got it all wrong”.

You may think that these are old things, but as you know, who remembers the old will be nowhere in sight. But be honest – do you need it? Even if a former classmate reports that he bullied you for having a crush and not being able to make friends, it will be nothing more than information. And then for you it was desire, humiliation and fear that filled your existence to the brim, because in childhood any experience seems finite and hopeless. To forgive is to legitimize the tormentor in your life. He bullied you and remained cheerful, cheerful and unpunished, and you shake his hand and smile – it seems like some bad world.

You must have met this type of person – an understanding comrade who appeared only when he needed something. The motto of such “friends” is bash on bash. They don’t want to maintain communication unless they see benefits for themselves. Most likely, every time you were asked for a favor, and if you refused, you could quickly shut down the conversation, get offended, or remember where and when you “owed” him. If such a friend reappears on the horizon, do not waste time with him. He is definitely not interested in you, but what you can get from you is interesting.

Oh, then it turned into despair and pain, but that was a hundred years ago and now you feel nothing. Moreover, life has shown: everything is for the better, she did not become happier from this story, and since then you have seen how inappropriate it is. And your friendship was so wonderful until all this happened. Men come and go but friends stay…

And yet that didn’t stop her friend from interfering—simply because she also wanted the same scarf or purse she had wanted before. But he was a man, you can’t buy another one, so she took this one. Yes, there are two people involved in the betrayal, he could have refused, but she was the one who chose to intervene and thereby destroy your relationship. Yes, now it’s not a pity, but you will bring back into your life a person who once did everything to break it.

Sometimes people stay friends for life, but for some, communication fades over time – and that’s perfectly normal. Think about whether something connects you with your friend or do you communicate through inertia? With age, we change, we learn new values ​​and opinions – naturally, the social circle changes, in which, unfortunately, there may not be a place for those who were close to each other before. If there is nothing in common between you and your old friend, let go of this friendship without remorse and keep warm memories of him.

Once upon a time you simply didn’t pay back the debt or were seriously staffed at your job, but how much water has flown under the bridge since then. Money is decay and business is a game, you were unlucky then, it is foolish to pout and run away like a little child. It’s much cooler to keep a poker face and try to win occasionally. You’ve had so many successful projects together before and now he’s offering something profitable, maybe it’s time to try again? Please forget what a wonderful partner he was. This is a person who has fooled you big time once and there is no reason in the world to stop him from doing it again.

Let’s say it’s the same Aunt Maša, without whom not a single family feast is complete. If your aunt was clinging to you and criticizing you, asking unpleasant, tactless questions and mocking your opinions, you should not communicate with her, just because they are “not strangers”. No remorse or guilt – feel free to say goodbye to those who felt entitled to humiliate you.

Or maybe your life was ruined by an old neighbor, a dandelion of God, who tormented you with gossip when you were a teenager, made up ugly things that drove your mother crazy and caused scandals.

There were no reasons for it – aunty just dreamed it, or she was having fun. And now she has become fragile, like a bird, she really cannot take revenge. Of course not. You can nod to her for a meeting or bring sweets for tea, because she remembers you “like this” and her soul ached for you, how, how. And the venom and hatred have long since sunk into the sand. But you don’t have to drink tea with her, give sweets and go to your new life where she has no place.

Now I’m not preaching vindictiveness. I just feel like by bringing these people back I’m bringing back the times when I was weak and helpless. Of course you can enjoy how strong and free I am now and how indifferent they are to me now. But all these are exercises for sitting with a psychologist and from the current reality – you-skra-ki-va-em.