Remo Forrer Forever has starting number 3 in the ESC final and finishes … 3rd of course we say!

… drink until there is zero in the bottle.

… sounds the theme song of the Eurovision Song Contest.

… the moderators make a joke that falls flat.

… an interestingly shaped keyboard takes the stage.

… a song ends with the singer yelling at a wind machine.

… an act is clearly trying to suck it up with the Gay Vote.

… FIREWORK! Flames! And thus.

… TITS! And thus.

… the props steal the show from the artist.

… awarding (or not awarding) points between countries is clearly political/historical.

… Neighboring countries give each other 12 points.

… traditional costumes come into their own.

… a rock band joins the mistaken belief that this is the perfect promotional platform for their career.

… there is a technical malfunction during the awarding of points.

… someone rhymes FIRE with DESIRE.

… a country that really does not belong to Europe.

… an Eastern European tries his hand at rap or funk or some other African American style of music.

… France is doing something that interests no one but France.

… someone takes off some of his clothes.

… when awarding points the moderator of a country unnecessarily delays the result.

For this you need:

– A television

– Beer or prosecco

– …and something strong. For example, vodka would make a good pan-European drink. Maybe Ukrainian vodka…

Sylvie Meis is “impressed by Austria because of the tit”. hmmm What is meant, of course, is the title. Luca Hänni thinks Remo Forrer is “cool”. Schöneberger thinks the German band Lord of the Lost is “great”.

Several bears are already romping around in the warm-up show animated by Barbara Schöneberger. For example, Luca Hänni, who finished 4th four years ago. A man we can’t identify, but who apparently also went to the ESC (probably for Germany?) tells us how much is always celebrated at an ESC, because after all, each individual country delegation is the bigger party noodle. And Sylvie Meis is there. How is that possible? No idea. And Max Mutzke sings a medley terribly badly (probably because Germany just can’t sing on ESC days). Barbara Schöneberger printed Burger or Luxemburgerli on her dress.

Hallooooooooo – Simone and Yours Truly are back at the start!

And? Are you happy too? On the Finnish human centipede? On French Disco Hell? Oh it’s gonna be great!