“She always expects me to pay for everything – equality true?”

Hello community!

I am slowly but surely having a big problem with how my girlfriend handles money. Especially the issue of money in our relationship. It goes without saying that it is crystal clear to them that if we go out for dinner together, for example, I will pay. Or if we do an activity together during the holidays (diving, whatever), I pay for it. Or that going to the cinema together is of course also arranged by me.

I must say that she often invites me to her place and has already done my shopping and does not ask me money or anything like that for food. Or that she has already organized and paid for a weekend trip. It’s really just about the less special things we do together – I always pay for that! And she doesn’t even pretend to be involved.

At first I thought it was culturally determined (for example, her mother never had her own money, she had to ask her husband…) and that it would then level off. But it doesn’t look like it.

I asked her if she expected me to arrange everything, and she came up with the example that she also pays for things for me/us. But that’s not right at the back and the front – equal rights where? Isn’t that fair? Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to invite her – but because I want to and not because she’s already taking it anyway.

We had a huge discussion about this last time – I don’t really know how to bring this up again without it popping again…

Do you have tips? Thank you …

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