In “Cocaine Bear” kids use coke and it’s funny

When a movie starts quoting Wikipedia, you know it shouldn’t be taken seriously. “Black bears are not territorial animals,” the film says right at the start. This reference to the online encyclopedia is like the whole movie: a good joke. Even at Watson it is done regularly. I was like, “Okay, that’s the kind of humor I love.” I immediately felt like participating in this story about a black bear with cocaine in its snout.

It all starts in 1985 when a shipment of cocaine is thrown from a plane by a drug dealer who is about to crash. Multiple gym bags, each containing a packet of white powder, fly over an American forest. The goods are worth fourteen million dollars. The cartel wants the drugs back and sends its people out. The problem is that the black bear living in this forest found the coke for them and is addicted from now on, which makes it very aggressive.

At the same time, eleven-year-old Dee Dee decides to play hooky with her boyfriend Henry. Henry is a blond boy who could model for Burberry Kids because he is so cute. He is played by Christian Convery (Gus in the “Sweet Tooth” series). The two kids make for one of the funniest moments in the film when they come across a pack of cocaine and decide to try it. They know it’s a drug, but they don’t know how to use it. So they stuffed a good handful into their mouths. Sometimes kids are just great.

“Cocaine Bear” is not only funny, but also stands behind its absurdities and amplifies them by incorporating gore into comedic scenes. For example, when the bear rips off a hiker’s cocaine-stained leg before thwarting his own plans. It’s dirty for a reason, but you never feel like the movie is holding you back.

There’s also a particularly gory scene where the bear chases an ambulance and manages to jump into the vehicle and throw the stretcher with an injured person on it through the air. Nothing is credible, and yet you get carried away and laugh when the poor victim’s head drags across the asphalt on impact. Not because you’re mentally unstable, but because it’s deliberately exaggerated. You kind of feel like seeing “Happy Tree Friends” in real life. By the way, it’s been a long time since I’ve heard a movie theater laugh more than once.

And to make the movie ridiculously funny, you need talented actors. Of particular note is Margo Martindale’s outstanding performance (“Million Dollar Baby”, “The Last Step” and most recently “The Watcher” on Netflix). The 71-year-old actress plays a professionally and sexually frustrated parking attendant who says the unbelievable line: “Yes, I have a gun, I can shoot people if I want to.” And she will.

“Cocaine Bear” is good weekend entertainment. The length of 95 minutes is also fine, just like the pace. It’s one of the few crazy movies like Piranha 3D that works. You have fun from start to finish.

Fun fact: I looked it up on Wikipedia because I’m a serious journalist and it says the exact opposite of what’s said at the beginning of the movie. American black bears tend to be territorial.

Fun fact number 2: The real and stuffed bear is said to have been found in a shopping mall in Kentucky, USA.