Why you can understand (a little) Harry’s nagging

Henry Mountbatten-Windsor, known to the general public as Prince Harry, is causing a stir. Again. He and his wife Meghan recently lamented in a Netflix documentary how hard their family had played, especially their older brother William. Now he continues to whine, in his memoir entitled “Spare” and in several TV interviews.

I haven’t seen the Netflix spectacle nor read the book, which officially comes out on Tuesday. And I have no sympathy for the concept of monarchy, but the British royals provide a good show, admittedly, a juicy reality soap. There is a certain fascination associated with this anachronistic institution.

One can understand the worldwide attention that Harry and Meghan’s jaw-dropping bang – which incidentally could net them tens of millions of dollars (or pounds) – is garnering. Even though the constant whining irritates and irks, the self-portrait celebrated to the point of exaggeration as a victim of an “inhuman” system.

But you can also understand Harry a little. He was born into this system and forced into a corset from the start. Since his birth on September 15, 1984, he was destined to become “The Spare”, the “Reservist” to the royal throne. Sentenced to a life on the couch, he couldn’t live half a normal life.

Others struggled with the role of Royal Number 2, such as Margaret, sister of the late Queen Elizabeth. At first she was not allowed to marry Peter Townsend, the love of her life, because as a divorced citizen he was not an acceptable match for the royal family or the Anglican Church.

Margaret later fled in an unhappy marriage to photographer Tony Armstrong-Jones. She led a shaky life with a lot of alcohol and numerous affairs. When she died in 2002 at the age of 71, she was considered a tragic figure. Because as the monarch’s sister, she never had a real chance to live an independent and self-determined life.

Prince Harry has tried to break out of the corset several times as a soldier during two missions in Afghanistan, where he killed 25 “enemies” according to his memoir. The biggest step was marrying American actress Meghan Markle, daughter of an African-American woman. According to him, it was never really accepted by the House of Windsor.

The most violent allegations are against brother William and his wife Kate, which has a tragic dimension. Because the two brothers were considered inseparable for a long time after the equally tragic death of mother Diana. Now the tablecloth between them seems irrevocably cut. A reconciliation is hard to imagine.

Apparently all contact with the family has been lost. “I want my dad back. I want my brother back. I don’t recognize her at the moment,” Harry told British television channel ITV, but the two probably wouldn’t recognize him at this point either, he admitted. the inner workings of the Windsors.

They are notorious for their emotional coldness, which Father Charles is said to have even admitted in a one-on-one conversation with Harry. And while the late Queen was revered for her sense of duty, she was also conflict-averse, as has been increasingly recognized since her passing. That had exacerbated the problems within the family.

But ultimately the monarchy is the problem. The longer it takes, the less it fits in a free, democratic society in which self-realization is highly valued. The royal houses on the European continent are sometimes more successful (the Dutch and Scandinavians) and sometimes less so (Belgium, Spain) in adapting to modernity.

The British liked to deride the former as ‘bicycle monarchies’, an allusion to the bicycle-crazy Dutch. And there are also republican movements in these countries. But perhaps, with their relative closeness to the people, they will succeed in preserving the antiquated institution of an inherited regency in the 21st century.

The British royals are unlikely to get on their bikes. Presumably this would hardly be accepted by a population conscious of tradition and attached to pomp and circumstance. There are still ways out. Princess Anne, known as the hardest-working member of the “company”, rejected the title of nobility offered to her two children, Peter and Zara.

Although they are in the line of succession based on their lineage, they lead a civil existence. King Charles plans to shrink the royal family anyway. Distant relatives such as the Kents and the Gloucesters may no longer be counted, but only the immediate family of the monarch and their spouses.

There is no room left for the disgraced Prince Andrew. And for Harry, who emigrated to the United States with Meghan and their two children, Archie and Lilibet. Whether they attended the coronation of Charles III. Will attend on May 6 – an invitation has apparently been sent – Harry doesn’t know yet, according to the ITV interview.

Perhaps someday a reconciliation will be possible. And maybe Harry and Meghan can build a new life without constantly exploiting their role as victims. Because every soap opera loses its appeal at some point, it just gets embarrassing. Because Henry Mountbatten-Windsor, born in the “golden cage”, should not expect too much pity.