Beaten, silenced, dead: the hell of abused gamers’ wives

Not everyone is as lucky as Victoria with her David. But when David Beckham met his Spice Girl a quarter of a century ago, she was already a global star, part of a phenomenon that thrilled thousands and thousands live in the stadiums. Just like David with his club Manchester United. The singer and the football player met as equals. He hadn’t been to the home improvement store alone. And no one came up with the idea to mock her as a “player’s wife”.

Not everyone is as unlucky as Kasia Lenhard with Bayern Munich star Jérôme Boateng. But as a team from the German research center Correctiv together with the “Süddeutsche Zeitung” has now discovered, their case is structurally important for the football scene.

Correctiv is an Essen-based, donation-funded NGO that conducts extensive and lengthy research together with major German media outlets and has already won all German media awards, including several Grimme Awards.

In the case of «Hero outside, violence inside. The silence of the players’ wives” is about nine partners of German professional football players who have experienced physical and psychological violence and have been silenced. The most tragic among them is Kasia Lenhardt, who was found dead in her apartment in Berlin on February 9, 2021.

15 days before her death, Boateng forces her to sign a nondisclosure agreement. He should use force. Kasia’s mother later finds her daughter with a torn earlobe and bruises. She often had the latter in the 15 months of her relationship with Boateng.

The contract Correctiv has states that Kasia Lenhardt undertakes to be absolutely silent about anything she knows privately or professionally about Boateng. Video and sound recordings, messages, e-mails, written documents, any type of file must be deleted or destroyed at his request and he must confirm this. If she passes on or tells something to third parties, she has to pay.

Kasia Lenhardt gets nothing in return. No money, no obligation on his part. What remains is pure intimidation. In fact, these agreements or Non Disclosure Agreements (NDA) are anything but watertight from a legal point of view. Kasia could take her to court, but the pressure is taking effect. And Boateng’s behavior.

Once Kasia says he is committed to silence, he gives the “Bild” a despicable interview in which he exposes her as an alcoholic and blackmailer who wants to destroy his career: “Kasia said she would do this by making me, her She knew full well that my children’s mother was accusing me of the same thing and we have a lawsuit about it.”

The interview and accompanying smear campaign against Kasia Lenhardt will appear on Feb. 2 under “Bild” editor-in-chief, Julian Reichelt. From March 2021, charges against Reichelt increased, in October the “New York Times” reported that he had several times had affairs with young women under him and bought their silence. Reichelt’s successor says the interview with Boateng would be out of print today, it has now been removed from the “Bild” page.

But in February 2021, such hatred of Kasia Lenhardt erupted in the comment columns and on social media that she committed suicide. Within a few days, their entire existence is publicly dissected. She is witch and whore and the woman who has to keep her mouth shut about everything.

Kasia was a model, 25 years old and a single mother of a young son. He was born in 2015, the same year as Boateng’s son Jermar, whose mother is still unknown and apparently silent.

Boateng’s ex-girlfriend and mother of his twin daughters, Sherin Senler, also has nothing more positive to say about the footballer, blows and bites were the order of the day, in 2021 he was ordered to pay Senler 1.8 million euros for physical violence. In 2018, she also reported that she had found an insect in her bedroom – she was looking for it after Boateng claimed to eavesdrop on her in bed with another man. During their 11-year on-again, off-again relationship, which ended in 2019, he constantly cheated on her.

Other women, who appear under pseudonyms, report being beaten, locked up, checked, hacked and threatened. Payment of child support was made conditional on signing the NDA. Fictitious stories about the women were deliberately presented to the media to divert attention from any missteps by the men.

By June 2012 at the latest, it is clear that the role models had to maintain a clean image for millions under all circumstances. During a press conference, Joachim Löw scolded Boateng for sending Gina-Lisa Lohfink to his hotel the night before the national team left for the European Championship. “It goes without saying that I didn’t like what was on at the weekend,” said Löw.

Attempts were often made to place drugs on the women. Most private photos, e-mails and messages often happened to reach a wider audience. In the case of Kasia Lenhard, these were accidentally published on Boateng-Ex Rebecca Silvera’s Instagram channel. Boateng and Silvera became engaged in July 2022 and nothing has been seen, heard or read about this relationship since.

It was about cover-ups, exhaustion and gaslighting – the women (and often the children too) would have to believe in their own guilt. Lawyers, judges, tabloid press, sports channel DSF, clubs, associations and therapists seem to work together in harmony. That is the great, structural disloyalty. After all, soccer players are cash cows and celebrities on a grand scale. The women are just accessories.

One is worth a lot, the other nothing. The goal is absolute control of one of its many trophies by those traded and treated like idols. It has nothing to do with love. The women are forgotten. One of them, Correctiv reports, now lives impoverished in America with her children in a trailer park, where she can no longer be reached by her ex.

The men sign further contracts. The next nondisclosure agreement, the next transfer deal. And at the next great goal the shadows of their transgressions have evaporated.

pk Two parties are in court these days: Jerôme Boateng has appealed against the payment of 1.8 million euros to Semler. And Kasia Lenhardt’s family continues to fight for their late daughter’s personal rights. A verdict is expected today