Where’s Kat??? 6 Hot Rumors From The Royal Conspiracy Scene

It is clear to the whole world: something is going terribly wrong with the completely leaderless British royal family. Along with boss Lady Elizabeth, all the palace’s valuable PR managers also appear to have died. The communication of the “company” takes place on the ground. Or how should you interpret it when the palace announces that Princess Kate has to undergo a ‘long-planned abdominal operation’, but at the same time has to cancel all ‘planned public appearances until Easter’?

Given the long-planned operation, wouldn’t normal people put all other plans aside? Can’t all royals read a diary? Or are they just lying and was Kate’s surgery surprising and extremely serious? Why did William suddenly withdraw from his god’s funeral on January 29? And where is Kate, who hasn’t been seen since Christmas? How sick is she? Will she ever come back? What is the Photoshop fail for Mother’s Day? Can you even trust the Windsors anymore? The subjects of the crown, who are gradually losing their loyalty, are asking themselves all these questions. And come up with the strangest ideas.

The palace said “see you Easter” and then published this supposedly current photo. Those who know the royal family say it never happened like this. Because there’s not just Charlotte’s missing sleeve, Kate’s missing wedding ring, and Louis’ AI-typical finger, there’s mostly Kate herself. And she wasn’t photographed like this in recent days, but in 2016 for a “Vogue” cover. She was wearing a hat at the time, but her face looks surprisingly identical to that in her Mother’s Day photo.

Yes why? Nobody understands. But the Palace of Lies suggested in a post on Monday that Kate had manipulated the photo herself. Assuming she did it herself, how many other supposedly private photos of the royal family has she edited? And we wonder: is this a real family or are the children borrowed elsewhere for public performances? And if the kids aren’t real, is that Kate?

William has a mistress, it is said, namely Lady Rose Hanbury, Marchioness of Cholmondeley. She was once a good friend to Kate, she was a good friend to Kate and Will – and then suddenly she was nothing. From which the royal conspiracy scene sharply concludes one thing: she must have had an affair with William! It has now flared up again! Kate has disappeared and wants to file for divorce. And Will has just as many problems with Kate as his father Charles had with Diana. And is the woman in Monday’s photo, which is supposed to show Will and Kate in the car, actually Kate or not Rose?

Someone claims to have seen an ambulance with a police escort leave the place where Kate would have spent Christmas on December 28. And why? Because Kate tried to commit suicide. Because of William’s affair. ‘Abdominal surgery’ means something like ’emptying the stomach’. Kate is now being treated in a psychiatric clinic.

Yes, Kate is receiving psychiatric treatment in a remote location, others say, but not because of made-up marital problems, but because the future queen is clearly anorexic (and why would she be? Maybe because Will is cheating on her???), hence the abdominal surgery survived more difficult than others and now finally needs to be healed in body and mind. #FreeKate

Not only is Kate under multiple medical care, others say Kate has been in a coma for weeks. How is that possible? Because her surgery was a disaster. Or because she did not undergo abdominal surgery at all, but did undergo cosmetic surgery, which was also a disaster.

Are Russian internet trolls also behind ‘Kategate’? Or was Kate simply abducted by aliens? Whatever may have happened, we wish the princess a speedy recovery. And of course stay informed.