Your body is cheating on you!: Sex with make-up can harm your relationship

There is evidence of this in an experiment conducted by two American psychologists in Canada in 1974. They marched one group of men across a concrete bridge and another group across a suspension bridge over a valley. Finally, an attractive woman was waiting. He interviewed the men and gave them his phone number. Among the candidates who crossed the swinging bridge, significantly more men sought out women than in the group who crossed the concrete bridge.

Psychologists concluded that fearful people misinterpret their physical symptoms as sexual arousal. Nausea, trembling knees, and excitement that resembled a “butterflies in the stomach” feeling – they attributed all of these to the woman’s influence.

Things work when partners are physically enabled

It’s a confusion that couples can benefit from, also known as misattribution, as Swiss sex therapist Dania Schiftan said in an interview with “Stern” magazine. “When partners are physically activated, they attack each other. This is how passionate arguments turn into passionate sex.”

Basel sexologist Melina Dobroka (37) tells Blick that a wide range of emotions come into play when there are arguments. These include anger, aggression, fear of loss, or fear of not being noticed or understood. According to Dobroka, these can overflow and cause us to no longer perceive positive emotions. “Emotional deluge leads to tunnel vision. The system called the sympathetic nervous system is activated. “We go into ‘fight or flight’ mode.”

At such a moment, you can no longer feel or allow yourself to be close to the other person. Dobroka says this is a very uncomfortable and inappropriate feeling because people long for a strong connection in relationships. To get rid of this situation, sex can be done to calm the nervous system. “Then it can be perceived as very passionate because the underlying needs are met again.”

When sex without arguments is no longer possible

However, this does not mean that the conflict will be resolved; just the opposite. “It’s more of a strategy that allows you to put things aside for now. “The discussion no longer happens, which damages the relationship in the long run.”

Dobroka says that if you resolve every gender-related conflict temporarily, a vicious cycle can emerge. This can lead to a relationship where you fight or have sex. Or argue so you can finally have sex again. “Sooner or later someone will want to break out of this spiral.” Couples with such problems go to therapy at Dobroka. “Makeup sex can be relaxing,” she says. “Sex feels so much better after a conflict is resolved.”