Big resolutions from Big Ben

Guys, the last time we had sex was exactly 3.5 months ago. Actually Watson should revoke my permission to write here, it is a dating and sex column after all. Some of you would welcome it. I know. But what can I say: even though you always threaten to never read my texts again, I know that most of you don’t exactly carry out this threat, and I’m probably a little softened by all that mulled wine and the Milanese, but folks, that touches and honors me. Your loyalty is great. Your efforts too. I like it when I can rely on someone. And you can trust your angry comments. That’s what I call loyalty. Coherence. Perseverance. If we were all in a big polyamorous relationship together, folks, we’d already be past the one-year mark, and it’s fair to say we’re still passionate, or, if you prefer, at least with a lot of emotion and spirit. about the.

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It’s time to make resolutions for 2024. What I plan to do is this.

1. Have more sex.

2. Have more sex.

3. Have more sex.

Logically, I’m doing all this just for you.

That’s a lie, but then again it’s not. I have to perform and when I have something, it gives me a great sense of responsibility. I don’t want to let you down. Sex should once again be the focus of these texts.

That is why I have already taken the first measures.

I have signed up for a sailing course. Starts in March. You could see it as a midlife crisis, but it isn’t. I’m too young for that. It’s more of an attempt to meet new people. In my imagination, there are many young, tanned women in white, tight pants in this class who are single and ready to mingle.

I also promised Hanna that I would go to Bikram yoga with her once a week. Hanna said that if there were a lot of women, and especially a lot of beautiful women, that would be good for my bad back. The biggest problem if you’re tall, I tell you, is that there’s a 99 percent chance you’ll break your back, no matter how good the mattresses and chairs you buy are.

The day before yesterday I wrote to Valentina. That too especially for you. Oh well, I’ll tell you. It’s a cheap move, I know. But what should I have done? Write Sina? Even. Valentina replied very kindly, writing that she was happy that I messaged her before Christmas and that she would contact me when she was back in Switzerland. She is spending the holidays abroad with her family, but she should be back in a week. We are cautiously optimistic that we can continue this story again.

Next solution: actually do the physio exercises.

Less alcohol. We decided to do Dry January in the shared apartment. I think it’s nonsense, but I agree. I’m not a spoilsport.

I should also smoke less weed. But not in January. I still have something left.

Did I mention that I want to have more sex in 2024?

Good.

I think that’s it. If I have forgotten anything, please let me know. The comment column is all yours, let off some steam, one last time in 2023. It’s been a pleasure doing my part in your anger management and I’m really looking forward to next year with you!

Happy new year!

Ben