Recently, Ellie Gonsalves, actress and model from Australia, posted on Instagram “a very HONEST, personal list of why I will remain childless.”
It lists 118 (!) reasons why she doesn’t want children. She did this because she and her husband, who have been a couple for fifteen years, are apparently constantly asked why they are childless and whether this is their own choice.
- Children are YOUR responsibility until the day you die.
- Hair loss after childbirth
- You are constantly tired.
- Children can inherit emotional trauma.
- The world is already overpopulated.
- You will see your child fighting for already limited resources – jobs, housing, etc.
- You become subordinate to your partner.
- Your child may decide to turn away from you when he or she is older. For whatever reasons.
- Children can be bullied.
- You can bully others.
- You can become a serial killer.
11.1. They can become rapists.
- And as they develop into decent people, you’ll still have to watch them grow up in a world full of chaos and stress every minute of every day.
- Children can be ungrateful.
- Children can be rude.
- Children can be incredibly embarrassing.
- The resistance phase
- There will never be a break from parenthood.
- Accelerated hair growth during pregnancy
- Fetuses can poop inside you.
- Swelling of the body
- Swelling of the face
- Swelling of the body may be accompanied by varicose veins, which is very painful.
- It is easier to move without children.
- Vacations are easier and more fun without children.
- Flying with a child can be almost impossible.
- You can get an infection from the cesarean section scar.
- You could get a tear.
- You can get kidney stones during pregnancy.
- You will NOT sleep.
- You will constantly worry about their problems.
- Your suffering is YOUR suffering.
- The existence of child abusers and their possible contact with your child
- You may experience bleeding for up to two months after the baby is born.
- Doctors will do everything they can to get your baby out safely, including, if necessary, ripping open your vagina and possibly even your butthole to make room for the baby’s head.
- And then they sew everything up and send you on your way to suffer constant pain every time you sit down or try to poop.
- Children make noise.
- Pregnancy can cause diabetes.
- Pregnancy can cause high blood pressure.
- Your nipples can be as big as dinner plates.
- During pregnancy you are more susceptible to fungal infections.
- You have to change poopy diapers every day.
- You can die during childbirth.
- They take EVERYTHING you have: time, sleep, money
- Children throw tantrums.
- Children quickly learn how to manipulate you.
- They may blame you for things you have no control over.
- Children can cause relationships to fail.
- And then if you are a single parent, you have to try to find someone who is willing to be with one single person. And someone who isn’t a secret child molester.
- Children have no sense of boundaries.
- Children are annoying.
- Children can become psychopaths.
- You must continually prioritize your children’s needs over your own.
- What if they get kidnapped?
- What if they become victims of human trafficking?
- The hardships of life are more difficult with a child in your luggage.
- You will be afraid to leave a relationship that is no longer working – ‘because of the children’.
- You may become paralyzed after birth due to injuries or complications.
- Body odor gets worse during pregnancy and worse after birth. You may smell like onions.
- Debilitating back pain during pregnancy
- You should brush the nits out of your child’s hair. And then brush your own hair. And then put all the sheets in the boiling wash.
- No sex 6 weeks after birth
- A whole bunch of people will be poking around inside you to check how dilated you are.
- You could be pregnant with twins.
- You could be pregnant with triplets.
- These could not get along with each other in the womb.
- One twin can kill the other in the womb.
- You’re going through school again.
- You pick up your child from school and bring him/her back every day.
- On weekends you should take your child to sports.
- You need to go to your child’s parent meetings.
- If you want your child to go to a good school, you will have to pay more than €10,000 per year in tuition fees.
- Scar from a caesarean section
- Your vagina will look different after a natural birth.
- The epidural cannula is huge!
- A whole room full of people sees your vagina and the inside of your body.
- You will probably shit yourself during labor.
- You can get postpartum depression.
- The food you cook for your children usually goes uneaten because children are picky eaters.
- If you have children and regret it, they are still in your hands.
- There’s nothing fun you can do during pregnancy: soothing massages? No. Facials? No. Alcohol? Never mind. Laser? No. Beauty products? Always difficult.
- Your house will never be tidy.
- Things you love will be destroyed.
- If you have a child, you may lose your identity
- Finding a babysitter can be incredibly difficult, if not nearly impossible.
- Childbirth can cause rectal prolapse.
- Childbirth can cause vaginal prolapse.
- Newborns vomit constantly.
- If you are sick, you still have to take care of your child.
- You miss things you like to do.
- A nipple may fall off during breastfeeding and need to be surgically sewn back on.
- Your nipples become sore, cracked and may bleed during breastfeeding, especially if your child is teething.
- I have no patience and hate screaming children.
- You will never be alone – EVER.
- “Pregnancy nose”
- Pregnancy is possible nevus sebaceous cause. (Don’t google!)
- Vomiting During Pregnancy (in English morning sickness called, although in fact it may take all day)
- Constipation in the third trimester is unbearable.
- A fetus can dig its nails into the uterus.
- A fetus can pee inside you.
- The fetus may poop inside you, and if it swallows any of it, it will have breathing problems in the future.
- If the baby is too big, it could break your tailbone at birth.
- You have to make sure the baby doesn’t die every day.
- However, the baby may die at birth.
- The baby may temporarily suffocate if the umbilical cord is wrapped around his neck.
- You can only eat and drink certain things during pregnancy/breastfeeding.
- Breast enlargement while breastfeeding
- Bedtime is usually a nightmare: the kids kick, scream, cry and throw tantrums that destroy your and your neighbors’ eardrums.
- You may need a forceps delivery.
- Pelvic floor dysfunction after childbirth
- After birth you must wear a diaper.
- Your house will never be clean again.
- You will cry. Much and often.
- You could have one of those uncontrollable kids who screams the entire flight.
- You literally have to do what your kids want to do – because they will scream if you don’t, and it’s easier to kiss because you’re just too tired to argue.
- You can get an infection from the cesarean section scar.
- Your first bowel movement after giving birth can be extremely painful.
- Your relationship with your friends will change.
- You will always have FOMO.
Certainly some points are repeated. And according to Ellie, some are meant to be satirical, but many are quite serious and factual.
The response was as predictable as it was violent: “Yes, I received hundreds of messages and comments telling me what a horrible and broken person I was,” Ellie told Australian lifestyle portal Mamamia. “But many of these fears and thoughts are absolutely real. And they influence not only me, but many women.”
But Ellie also received positive feedback: “It was nice to read hundreds of comments from people who felt noticed. People who have also experienced unpleasant moments when others questioned their decision and that only made them feel terrible or uncomfortable.
(obi)