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7 things not to do when dealing with alcohol: Why you shouldn’t say “You drink too much”

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Is there anyone in your circle of friends who drinks too much alcohol?
Jonas DreyfusHead of People Team

He asks the same question three times and laughs when everyone else isn’t. Heinz Lengacher, 60, says these could be signs that someone can no longer control their alcohol consumption. He has been working in the field of addiction counseling for 20 years and has been head of the Bernese Oberland regional center “Berner Gesundheit” since 2014.

It’s often easier to address suspicious behavior if you’re close to someone. However, if the people in question are your colleagues whom you mostly encounter at the exit, in bars or restaurants, you can make a big mistake. In other words: where you like to drink to your thirst.
Here are 7 things to avoid when dealing with colleagues who overdo things to the point where no one is having fun:

one

Speak when the person is drunk

“Who knows if you’ll still remember it the next day,” says addiction counselor Heinz Lengacher. Except for the fact that you can’t have a deep conversation when you’re drunk. So the rule of thumb is this: Wait for a sober moment to talk to someone about their behavior.

If someone falls asleep with a glass in their hand, the party is definitely over.

2

Directly telling someone they drank too much

Essentially, it’s important to show appreciation for the person in question and not criticize them directly, says Lengacher. “You are friends after all.” The best way to do this is to create sentences that describe your own observations and feelings. For example: “I noticed that you always drank more than the rest of us, and at some point I no longer found it interesting to talk to you.” Or: “I’m worried about you because it’s important to me that you’re well.”

3

Deliver a monologue

According to Lengacher, it is important for the person involved to have a say in the conversation as often as possible. “How did you experience this?” you may ask. And continue: “Did I just get it right, you…?”

4

I think it’s over after one conversation

Lengacher says you have to see a thought before it can grow. This means you always offer to talk or say something like: “That was a bit much today, let’s talk again another time?” In a group, you can break up conversations so that everyone says something at a time, not just one person.

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Anyone who wakes up the morning after a Christmas party with their head covered in a Christmas wreath should perhaps question their alcohol consumption.

5

Don’t drink anything anymore

To set a good example, suddenly giving up alcohol completely at the end of the day doesn’t work, says Lengacher. “The person with perceived overconsumption is likely feeling pressured.” It is better to be more careful and make an effort to order something non-alcoholic among beer, wine and cocktails. Or they say you should be able to drive afterward. Lengacher: “Automatic verification always works.”

6

waiting too long

Lengacher says that the earlier you intervene in consumer behavior, the greater the chance that those affected will change it. It is therefore not a good idea to expect someone affected to get help themselves. “If someone comes to counseling on the recommendation of a friend, their chances won’t be any worse.”

7

ignore one’s own boundaries

If you find that the situation isn’t getting better, you should avoid getting dragged into it too much, says Lengacher. Especially if the other person lies to me regularly to cover up their addiction. At this point at the latest, you should advise the person concerned to seek professional help. “At some point, there may come a time when you have to end a friendship or at least question it to protect yourself,” Lengacher said.

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