Confident appearance: This is how you make a good first impression

class=”sc-29f61514-0 icZBHN”>

You were invited by an acquaintance to his house for dinner. You don’t know anyone except the owner. You feel nervous about coming alone and meeting new people.

Think carefully about what you should wear and how you should behave to make a good first impression and give others a good impression of you. So is there actually a generally valid body language that can be used to maintain a confident appearance in any situation? “No, in any case we have to understand from the body language of others what emotional state these people are in,” body language expert Stefan Verra (50) tells Blick.

The same facial expressions or gestures are not welcome at all times and for all people. Therefore, according to the Austrian coach and author, body language always needs to be adjusted a little. “This is the only way we can be accepted by those around us.”

Get into the same emotional state as those around you

To explain this, Verra gives two examples: “An event where we come alone after work and don’t know anyone, or a funeral.” Two completely different events where we cannot appear with the same body language to make a good first impression.

“If you want to belong, you have to be in roughly the same emotional state as other people.” Then they subconsciously get the feeling that we can be trusted.

For example, the atmosphere at the funeral was gloomy: “Everything is very quiet and no one speaks loudly. “Now it’s a good idea to get into this calm, somewhat reserved state.”

Verra talks about two technical terms: “frequency, which is tempo, and amplitude, which is interval.” Everyone can easily adapt these two things to themselves.

Three signals that are always well received

There are also three signals that are almost always well received, according to the body language expert.

1. A reserved smile: As Verra explains, it’s not a tight smile, but it’s not exactly a loud giggle either. It’s about a shy smile that primates have used before, showing that you’re not dangerous and that you recognize the status of others. “If we are stopped by a police officer during a traffic stop, we automatically smile at them. We don’t do it because it’s funny, but because we signal: ‘I noticed your higher status,'” Verra explains.
2. Raised eyebrow: According to the expert, when you meet someone for the first time, you should raise your eyebrows and leave them plus or minus for a second. “We show it like this: ‘Oh hello, hello!'” Verra said. It’s international, so it’s culture-agnostic, it’s a greeting signal to the other person that you notice them,” says Verra.
3. React quickly: You should always react quickly to others. Verra gives an example: “You are sitting at the reception of a company and waiting for your job interview. While you wait, you look at your smartphone and read something. Suddenly the door opens and the HR manager invites you in. “It is now very important to quickly look at your mobile phone, quickly raise your eyebrows and smile.”

“Distance is always determined by the other person.”

There are rules you must follow when keeping distance between yourself and a person you meet for the first time: Body language expert says, “The other person always determines the distance.” If you want to make a good impression, as Verra describes it, you have to tolerate being intimate, even if you don’t actually like it.

The coach and author gives a tip for this: “When you are close to someone, stand at an angle to the other person. Because you can keep the distance better from the side than from the front.”

You should avoid this when making a first impression

According to Verra, there is one thing you should definitely avoid if you want to make a good first impression: “Arrogance! By this I mean when you lift your chin too high and keep your body too upright. This signals to the other person that you feel exalted towards them.”

This posture can be strengthened by simply looking at people from the side out of the corner of your eye. “If you do it on first impression, you won’t be received well in most cases.”

Practice makes perfect

It’s completely normal to be nervous in unusual situations: “Unfortunately, there is no technique to suppress this nervousness,” explains Verra. In new situations, our brain realizes that this moment is unknown to us and our muscles need to tense. “He thinks we should prepare to escape, and that makes us nervous.”

There is only one way to learn to suppress this nervousness: “You must give the brain the opportunity to get used to this situation. This means you need to practice frequently in situations where you are the center of attention alone.”

We show our emotions with body language

Verra emphasizes that nervousness is a human thing: “If I were nervous, I would say it openly. I promise you, people will smile.”

If you think body language is a technique you can use to hide your emotions, you are completely wrong, according to the expert. “On the contrary: body language is the communication in which we show our emotions!”

Source : Blick