Let’s waste again! Dry sex, shame and hatred in the “Sommerhaus der Stars” on RTL

In case you haven’t noticed, the TV just reaches down to the bottom drawer and pulls out something like a stained, smelly, moth-eaten polyester T-shirt with a crying harlequin on it. Like moths eating polyester, haha! Welcome to the “summer house of the stars”. Where couples reveal the poorest parts of themselves. Where stars aren’t stars, but reality characters that have been chewed out multiple times.

RTL has performed particularly poorly this year. With six out of eight couples you ask yourself: why are they together at all? What do they mean by love? Did they find each other in the search box left at the lost and found office after the after-party of a public viewing of “Love Island”?

Claudia and Max finally met at a party a year ago, Hamburg’s Finest was meeting there, Olivia Jones was the hostess with the most, and she gave Claudia (then 60) and Max (then 23 or 24) the idea of try it together. Claudia Obert is not only a reality slut, but also a fine lady who has her fashion boutique in the middle of Hamburg between Chanel and a Steigenberger Hotel, a self-made multi-millionaire who needs a lot of champagne and ‘BungaBunga three times a day’. day” and says: “I don’t need emancipation, I am superior to every man.”

He stubbornly stays by Claudia’s side, she is usually quicker to throw away her boy toys, and Maxen’s mother is now Claudia’s good friend and boutique employee. Mother, son and Claudia are “conservative”, they think that is important. Claudia is a CDU member and is considering entering politics, something that politicians have not really welcomed yet.

In the summer house, Claudia is allowed to cook for everyone on the first evening, both meat and vegetarian, which is urgently needed to at least level off the high alcohol level. Claudia and Max are the first at the old, dilapidated farm in North Rhine-Westphalia. They welcome couple number two into the garden with a dry humping routine, which number two finds “disrespectful” in the choir with all the garden gnomes (many) and dolls (an estimated three tons) present.

Number two consists of Ricarda (“I’m great on the outside, bad on the inside, body-wise”) and Maurice. Ricarda only eats once a day, to which Claudia responds: “But you are good at eating! “Just keep it, you’re fat enough,” he replies. And Maurice still lives with his parents and has “always” dreamed of moving into the summer house. It is already known that the two will divorce thanks to the harmonious dream holiday in the summer house.

This is followed by the widely criticized riot police Valentina, who constantly demands empathy but sows hatred, along with her fiancé Can, both of whom are only there to irritate each other and the others in order to get ‘airtime’.

Justine looks like Ricarda and is one hundredth famous because she was once married to Joey Heindle, who the world doesn’t need to know either, now she has a husband and a daughter with her. Some Alex and his Vanessa met on “Love Island”, Vanessa took advantage of someone else’s Alex, now she finds him rather slow and a bit old and they certainly won’t grow old together.

I have no idea why Pia and Zico are needed, but the tattooed rainbow bunnies Eric and Edith Stehfest are definitely needed, they are the only ones who really like each other. They are ‘warriors of love’ and Eric stands behind the challenges as if he were having sex: ‘Now we have sex in challenges. We’re going to win the challenges one after another, as if we were having sex.” Aha.

Oh yeah. Was asked for a “Coq au vin”. Knowledge is just a matter of luck. And what does that have to do with sex?

Tim Toupet, who is proud of his honest profession and provides the world with singing gems such as “I’m hot as frying fat”, mocks the influencers present in the best boomer style. Valentina is angry because Alex once rejected her from a party she invited herself to, you get the point. Pia drinks away the third to last brain cell, and sentences like: “But what do you do now? For the whole of Germany? Do you want airtime?” Yes of course!

Claudia stares lustfully at Justine’s breasts, because they are 75D, Claudia’s Max stares more lustfully. And why are we told that Edith also sleeps with women, WHY?? The entertainment factor is already extremely fast. WHAT TO EXPECT??? WOULD YOU SEND IT???? Like a cocaine addict?

Oh yes, Max has a “Master in Branding” by the way. The brand he has been creating for a year is called Claudia. He is responsible for the online presence of your boutiques. However, this has its limits. «We like people and not computers. We do not sell online,” it says at the reception. Claudia writes about Max on Instagram: “My happiness machine, I get dizzy with happiness just thinking about him.” We learned something again: there are computer machines (ugh) and max machines (hui).

‘The Summer House of the Stars’ can be seen every Tuesday on RTL.