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The writer Armistead Maupin coined the term “logical family” in contrast to the biological family. Like many of his generation, he was rejected by his conservative parents because of his sexual orientation and found a new home in San Francisco. More than that: family. The city accepted him in a way that his mother could not. Here he could become what he was.
San Francisco gave this feeling to many people from all over the world, including me. And I, too, again and again had the feeling, sometimes erroneous, that I had found an alternative, a self-chosen family, a new home. In youth groups and apartment shares, in relationships, in books and bookstores, in the editorial office of my first independent magazine.
Victor is delighted with his time on the road as an actor and musician in various forms. He says that friends entrusted him with their teenage son, who dropped out of school and was engaged in all sorts of nonsense. For two years the boy toured the region with them, pale red in a troupe of local artists. But that wasn’t a problem. He was family. Not outside, but inside. where does it count
And now, as is often the case on Sundays, we sit at our friend’s table and toast. “Us,” I say, as my mother always did. We talk about what binds us and what separates us, and why we declare our joint meals to be family meals, although in the strict sense we are not. It all started during the pandemic when we became a bubble and moved between our respective kitchens and dining tables for months. But it’s something more.
Where is the line between friendship and love, love and family? And what do we even mean by family?
“Unconditional love,” I say.
“You must not imagine anything, you must not deceive each other, no, you cannot deceive yourself.”
“When you know each other long enough to see multiple versions of each other. So, you and I know each other as young mothers, as married women, as divorced women, in successful and unsuccessful, in stable and chaotic phases.
“That I can call you from the police station at three in the morning and you will pick me up.”
“It’s not quite right. We are all fast asleep at three in the morning – but it’s the principle.”
“That sometimes you can fatally get on your nerves, and it won’t change anything.”
“I tell you: unconditional love.” (I’m an incorrigible romantic, even when it’s not in a romantic relationship.)
We laugh because we have no idea. We didn’t grow up with these things, so we idealize them even more. We know this is too much, from both logical and biological families. That no one can live up to these ideals, least of all ourselves, and yet this Sunday evening we feel as safe as a baby in a sling. And now we can not find another word for this, except as “family”.
Source: Blick
I am David Miller, a highly experienced news reporter and author for 24 Instant News. I specialize in opinion pieces and have written extensively on current events, politics, social issues, and more. My writing has been featured in major publications such as The New York Times, The Guardian, and BBC News. I strive to be fair-minded while also producing thought-provoking content that encourages readers to engage with the topics I discuss.
